~The kiss of silence~
I wish people could be more frank. Just be more honest about their feelings!
Why do so many people trade honesty for silence? Why do they prefer to stay silent than being open.
There are many reasons people prefer silence over open frank communication.
1) They fear hurting the other person. So they beat around the bush. Bottle up their feeling and say nothing.
2) They don’t want to be the one to ruffle the feathers. Why should I bring up the topic? If the other person has a problem let them speak up.
3) They don’t want to see reality in the face. Truth can sometimes be very bitter and they feel that if they refuse to see it, maybe it will go away.
4) They feel they will get an upper hand in the discussion if the other person voices the problem first. They can then behave like they never had a problem in the first place and that the other person is creating a scene.
5) They don’t really care and take the other person for granted. If you not concerned about another you can just behave like nothing’s happening and continue living in your selfish world.
6) They wish to place the other person on hold, trying to buy time. Sometimes too preoccupied with other issues and expecting their partner to understand and stay put.
There may be many other reasons why people do not frankly open up and speak about their feelings or decisions, however not opening up honestly can be even more damaging than being blunt and honest.
By withholding your true feeling you put the other person under great discomfort. They have no clue what’s the issue with you and are forced to imagine all kinds of possibilities behind your indifference. They lose their sleep and time trying to understand your mind.
The kiss of silence is a poison that kills many beautiful relationships. Most misunderstandings and loss of trust stem out of this one unwanted behaviour.
Once again…I wish people would learn to be more open and frank. Respect another’s time and space and empathise with them. Everyone deserves an honest answer.
If you don’t want to help someone…tell them!
If you no longer love someone…tell them!
If you want more our of your relationship…tell them!
If you want your space…tell them!
Just tell…don’t kill your relationship with the kiss of silence.
(C) Seema Shenoy. Life and Success coach. Bangalore, India.
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Seema-Shenoy-Life-Success-Coach/158630830973168
Seema Shenoy Manek NLP 
My reply…
I totally agree…One can say something bitter and real, but kindly.
And if you love and empathise with the person you will be kind enough to do that.
But lot of people bottle up and go into silence and that can really be very painful for the partner. Intent behind the silence can be anything.But the results are mostly damaging.
One of my friends sent this comment on FB…
Hi Seema…read your blog post – The Kiss of Silence. Whie I fully agree that it is important to be honest and speak out your feelings however harsh…but wouldn’t you agree that would be the case only when the nature of relationship is such that there would be certain assurance that truth will be accepted with kindness?
In any other relationship would it not become rude?
I feel that truth can be articulated in a way that it gets carried across but with a degree of politeness so that it serves also as a balm
Just sharing my thoughts honestly..dont see it as a contradiction or disagreement of your view. I am only following what you advised 😊